Douse The Flame

Something amazing occurred today. As I was burning some old files for work, an amazing analogy slapped me straight in the face! There I was, in my own little world, throwing in files and watching them burn. All of a sudden the fire went out. So I walked over and started poking at it with a long stick. Within seconds, the fire ignited into giant flames once again. And at that moment I realized that that is the entire essence of an eating disorder. An eating disorder can not stay flamed if it’s not constantly being poked and prodded.

What I mean by that is, an eating disorder can’t stay strong and effective if there isn’t something continually fueling it. Example; perpetually telling ourselves lies – ie, ‘I’m ugly’ or ‘I’m fat’ – looking for inspiration or “thinspiration” to feed the flame or “push you” to do better, incessantly weighing yourself or measuring yourself, continuously thinking on or fantasizing about thinness or “perfection”…

Really the list can go on with all the things that fan the flames of the eating disorder.

I know this from personal experience. I did all the things listed above, and more, on a daily basis! Several times a day! By the end of each day I was mentally exhausted, physically drained, spiritually dying, and emotionally distraught.

Every single time I tried to stop my addictions, I always ended up reverting back to my old behavior within days or weeks. There was no permanent change. It was superficial change. You see, even though that fire dies down, there’s still those unseen embers lying beneath those burnt files. Even though you can’t see it, it just takes one little poke to ignite that eating disorder back to full on flame.

When you decide to put that fire out…when you’re ready to throw the water on completely…you can NOT have a hidden agenda! Leave no room for the heat to remain. Douse the flames completely by getting rid of the scales, measuring devices, preconceived ideas of beauty, thinspirations of all kinds, and any other triggers that would hinder complete healing.

This is step one in true healing, lasting healing. There will be bumps in the road, candlelit flames that may emerge, but that’s the part of healing. Those moments are just the stitches to your injury…it takes the hard times of your triumphant overcoming in order for you to gain the strength to last a lifetime free from all addictions!

An eating disorder is not impossible to overcome!!! But it is if you choose not to!